Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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