just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
