So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I AM VODKA MAN
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
