were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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