He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
