eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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