It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
