This is not my ceiling
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
