I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize