A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize