I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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