he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
