Already got asked if we're dating
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
