When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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