if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
