last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
