we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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