i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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