tell your sister to shave her snatch
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF