Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
