Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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