Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
