she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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