so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
