i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
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im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
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Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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