I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
