My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
