You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
