She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Randomize
