He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think I am morally bankrupt
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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