I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
