He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
