would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
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Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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