i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
