i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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