good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
