Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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