Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
