What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
