Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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