As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
