Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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