honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
