I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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