Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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