What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
