After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize