I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
