you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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