She is in my trunk
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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