perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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