whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize