I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize