Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
