i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
