I'm going to rape someone's good day.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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