Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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