we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
