shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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