Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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