Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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