I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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