My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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